TT - Q & A

Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung?
A: You can't get a finger between the rope and his neck!


Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?
A: Shoot the lawyer twice.


Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start!


Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.


Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.


Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.


Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.


Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?
A: To practice.


Q: Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop?
A: Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and nightcrawlers


Q: Why are there so many lawyers in the U.S.?
A: Because St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland.


Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
A: The lawyer charges more.


Q: What's the definition of mixed emotions?
A: Watching your attorney drive over a cliff in your new Ferrari.


Q: When attorneys die, why do they bury them 600 feet underground?
A: Because deep down, they're really nice guys.