TT

Here are excerpts from a book by Steve Kluger called "Lawyers Say the Darndest Things," Ivy Books, June 1990. Mr. Kluger, a novelist and journalist, worked part-time for years in the word processing departments of some law firms in Southern California (reprinted from Empire State Court Notes Apr/May 1991):

Please notify us immediately if you do not receive this letter.

It appears that we will have a difficult time obtaining a defense verdict if this case is tried before a live jury.

We are refraining from providing you with copies of the medical records, which are enclosed.

Enclosed is our status report on this matter. Please be advised that this case is a mess.

Plaintiff states it is her belief that her neck injuries were caused by a jerk.

Please find enclosed copies of the plaintiff.

Plaintiff weighs 125 pounds with a driver's license.

The bus operator claims he ran over the plaintiff because he was behind schedule.

The court, in its discretion, is permitted to strike irrelevant, redundant and redundant matters.

Have you suffered a loss of smell in either ear?

He suffered a fracture to his left foreman.