Thursday, September 20, 2007

Said in court...

Question 1. Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?

A: yes

Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?



Question 2. Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather eleborate honeymoon, didnt you?

A: I went to Europe, Sir.

Q: And you took your new wife?



Question 3. Q: How was your first marriage terminated?

A: By death.

Q: And by whose death was it terminated?



Question 4. Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.



Question 5. Q: Can you describe the individual?

A: He was about medium height and had a beard.

Q: Was this a male or female?



Question 6. Q: Doctor how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?

A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.



Question 7. Q: All your responses must be oral, OK,? What school did you go to?

A: Oral



Question 8. Q: Do you recall the time you examined the body?

A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?

A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.



Question 9. Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?



Question 10. Q:Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

A: No.

Q: Did you check for blood pressure? A: No. Q: Did you check for breathing?

A: No.

Q: So it was possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

A: No.

Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? A: Because his brains was sitting on my desk in a jar.

Q: But could the patien have still been alive nevertheless?

A: It is possible that he coulkd have been alive and practicing law somewhere.



Question 11. Q: How many times have you committed suicide?



Question 12. Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

A: Yes.

Q: What were you doing at the time?



Question 13. Q: She had three children right?

A: Yes.

Q: How many were boys?

A: none.

Q: Were there any girls?

17 comments:

Sandee said...

Yep, this sounds right. Very well done. Having testified in court many times it's amazing some of the questions that are asked. Have a great TT. :)

Anonymous said...

You couldn't make this stuff up! Brilliant list!

Tink said...

*LOL* Great list. :-)
My TT shares 13 things about Mabon.

Chelle Y. said...

Gotta watch those lawyers. They can be tricky! :)

www.chelleyoung.com

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

Oh, my. I can understand how things would need to be clear for the record, but ... wow. Makes ya wonder why it's so hard to get into law school.

Anonymous said...

Hilarious!

Lori said...

LOL...I had to tell my son about your blog. He was talking about funny laws so I shared a few of yours with him:)

Bloggers said...

great list

my 13 is up
http://momworksathome.blogspot.com

Addicted to crafting said...

LMAO, people are insane!!!!

visit me http://thenononsense.blogspot.com/2007/09/13-things-that-went-wrong-this-week.html

Anonymous said...

Great great list.

Bethanne said...

LMAO.

Anonymous said...

hehe #7 made me smile

Happy TT!
http://blog.vigilant20.net/?p=1314

Anonymous said...

As the daughter of a lawyer, I loved your list! I sent the link to my dad so he could laugh, too!

Anonymous said...

LOL I scared my dog from laughing at these! Great list :)

Open Grove Claudia said...

This is really funny! Thanks for sharing. I was thinking of something like this but couldn't work it out - well done! :)

Anonymous said...

Working for several lawyers, I have heard some of these questions before (I've probably asked some of them too). Great post! Happy TT

Mine is up at http://katskrackerbox.wordpress.com/2007/09/20/thursday-thirteen-8-thirteen-things-that-absolutely-drive-me-crazy/

bernie said...

I linked to you from 13 PETA Poses, Excerpt: PETA is a detestable, wacko organization, but I love those who protest for PETA by going fur-less. Is there a better way to protest?

Herewith, for your viewing pleasure are 13 images of protesters who have bared it all in their effort to convince you to stop wearing fur, eating meat or fish, and torturing animals.